Layout: vehemency
Wednesday, November 26, 2008, 11:13 AM
End of my worldYesterday night was the worst day returning home alone. Just kept on crying on the train with nothing was in my head, nothing at all. Listened to Bella's Lullaby by Yiruma gave me a total breakdown. I start to think wth am I actually doing now, why made me come out with that choice. If I told you I'm true, how about you?
Sean was supposed to come over but in the end he didn't. Instead he went out with the rest in the night leaving me with nothing to say to him. And it was Yajie's birthday yesterday.. yet I'm over here in Singapore, nothing that I can do to make her birthday a little better, I felt so useless as a friend, even as a close sister
I hope you'd received my text yesterday night. I guess thats all I could do. I really hope you're doing fine over there, though life might be tough but please hang on. You told me to stay strong and now the ahchoi you known has already become a big girl. I really miss times back over here, even the years back. From sec 1 till 3 when you were still with me. Remember how we met first during our first day in Yuying? I'll never forget how you looked at me and asked for my name. And we never knew that for the rest of our times in Yuying we'll be close as one. Remember how we joined dance as our CCA together? Remember how much hardship we went through during Syf? Remember all the tears that we shed? Remember all those tiffs and quarrels we had while we were young? And we'll always patch back after few days cus we just simply love each other so much. Remember the times that we went Beijing together? Remember that when we actually went into different class when we got promoted and I cried about it. It was just simply too much of used to having you..
It has been 2 years plus since you left. But I'm still here counting the number of years that you'll be back. Every time when I take out all those neoprints and I see the picture of you and me, it'd always bring back so much memories. I know you feel lonely over there, I know you miss Singapore and all of the friends here. We're all waiting for you to come back. Becus I feel empty since the day you're gone. I know you'll be back in 5 years time. And I'm here praying that 5 years will never replaced our friendship, becos it can't for me, and I know it won't change for you too. Remember when you're back I'll invite all your family to stay over at my place, remember that? I know that I can't write any touching message to make you cry nor touched, but all of this above is true. I love you Yajie, you'll always be my best friend forever.
From the bottom of my heart, I really want you to know how much I actually miss you and wished you were here.
Pearlin, I hope we're not drifiting apart. It hurts so much to see us so near yet so far.
I'm sorry but I can't help it but doubt myself again. And again I fall deeper telling myself this isn't going to bring me anywhere. On a night when I crave for someone I'd want to see, a black forest cake without whip cream and cherry, where are you?
A little surprises from him, a little more care and concern, a little things he'd do to brighten up your day, a little things he'd buy to make you happy, somethings that he'd do to make you smile, isn't this what is expected from all girls from their bf? Can't I be a little angry or disappointed at times? Can't I be selfish to even expect for more?
no?